Living your Human Design has nothing to do with changing, improving or helping yourself. If you try to “do better,” “become your true self” or “learn a new way of life” you will only keep running around in circles. Simply because if you have any idea of who you are or who you should be, you are probably wrong.
The mind is such an artist and can conjure amazing pictures of the future, the past and what we should be doing right now in order to get the most out of it. None of what it can think of has more to do with reality than colouring the pair of glasses that you put in front of your eyes.
The mind’s way of improving life is to make a plan, set a goal, make a to-do list and to consequently pressure the rest of you into following its plan – all the while continually being confused and doubting every decision it has made. “If only I could, then I would as I should.”
The joke is that whatever the mind can come up with is only a glimpse of the reality that you are a part of. When you are in a room you can see no further than the walls, and so your mind can see no further than its subjective imagination. The mind as an amazing talent for presenting a very small amount of ideas in a way that make it seem like you are looking at the very fabric of the universe. While in actuality you are just looking at projections on the wall of that room you are in.
So step 1 to living your design is to become aware of this insane process going on in your head. How are you trying to change yourself? What parts of yourself do you not agree with? What do you think is wrong with your life?
Observe your shadow. When do you feel resentment, frustration, anger, disappointment? What are the voices in your head telling you? Observe this, have opinions about it, argue with yourself as much as you like. And be present in it. See what is going on. Analyse and overanalyse. Until at some point you start to see the futility of it all.
All the plans you made, which ones actually changed your life? Which goals you set finally made you into the person you wished you could be? Which to do list ever created a new, more satisfying life for you?
I am willing to bet you that all the amazing things that changed your life, the event that allowed you to evolve and the experiences that made you who you are today, all came effortlessly.
I am not saying you didn’t work hard for it, or that you didn’t invest endless amounts of energy and that it wasn’t difficult at times. I am saying that what makes you happy does not come from pressuring yourself into anything. Our inner truth is not something that needs force or discipline or any type of could-would-should. It comes easy and naturally as soon as you allow it.
So step 1 one is clearing out what is standing in the way. And what is standing in the way is your mind. All those debates in your head that make you feel bad. Ask your mind, what do you need to be able to believe that there does not need to be a plan? Ask yourself, what do I need to be able to surrender? And this first step will get you well on your way.